9. 乔丹·彼得森的儿子

l “我儿子在蹒跚学步的时候特别暴躁。当我女儿小的时候，我用一个凶狠的眼神已经可以使女儿安静下来。但这种干预对我儿子根本没有影响。在他九个月大时，他就已经让我妻子（她不是容易让步的人）在餐桌上束手无策了。儿子与妻子争夺勺子的控制权。“好！”无论如何，我们都不想给他多喂一分钟。可是这个小暴徒只会吃三四口。然后他会玩。他会在碗里搅拌食物。他会把一些碎片掉在高脚椅的桌面上，看着它掉在下面的地板上。没关系。他在探索。但后来他吃得不够。然后，因为他吃得不够，所以睡眠不够。然后他午夜的哭泣吵醒我们。我们会变得脾气暴躁，变得不正常。他让我妻子感到沮丧，而妻子会把情绪发泄在我身上。这样的趋势并不理想。在情况恶化了几天之后，我决定重新拿起汤匙来喂他。我为这场战斗做好了准备，并留出了足够的时间。一个耐心的成年人可以打败一个两岁的小孩，这听起来有点难以置信。正如俗语所说：「老谋深算总能战胜年轻气盛。」这部分是因为对于两岁的孩子来说，时间仿佛是永恒的。对我来说的半小时，对他而言就像一周。我确信自己会胜利。他固执又难缠，但我可以更难缠。我们面对面坐下，碗放在他面前。这是一场对决。他知道，我也知道。他拿起汤匙，我从他手中夺走，舀起一口美味的糊状食物，缓缓地送到他嘴边。他用和游乐场上的脚怪一样的眼神盯着我，嘴唇紧闭，皱成一团，拒绝任何食物进入。我拿着汤匙追着他的嘴，他的头则不停地转来转去。但我还有更多招数。我用空闲的手戳他的胸口，故意惹他生气。他一动不动。我一次又一次地戳他，不重，但也不容忽视。戳了十几下后，他张开嘴，准备发出愤怒的声音。哈！他的失误。我敏捷地把汤匙塞进去。他试图用舌头把食物推出来，但我也知道如何应对。我只是把食指横放在他的嘴唇上。有些食物吐了出来，但有些也吞下去了。爸爸得一分。我拍拍他的头，告诉他是个好孩子。我是认真的。当有人做了你希望他们做的事时，要奖励他们。胜利后不要记仇。一个小时后，一切都结束了。他愤怒地哭闹，我妻子不得不离开房间，压力太大了。但孩子还是吃了东西。我儿子筋疲力尽地趴在我胸口，我们一起小睡了一会儿。醒来后，他比被管教之前更喜欢我了。」

9.    Jordan Peterson’s son

a.    “My son was particularly ornery when he was a toddler. When my daughter was little, I could paralyze her into immobility with an evil glance. Such an intervention had no effect at all on my son. He had my wife (who is no pushover) stymied at the dinner table by the time he was nine months of age. He fought her for control over the spoon. “Good!” we thought. We didn’t want to feed him one more minute than necessary anyway. But the little blighter would only eat three or four mouthfuls. Then he would play. He would stir his food around in his bowl. He would drop bits of it over the high chair table top, and watch as it fell on the floor below. No problem. He was exploring. But then he wasn’t eating enough. Then, because he wasn’t eating enough, he wasn’t sleeping enough. Then his midnight crying was waking his parents. Then they were getting grumpy and out of sorts. He was frustrating his mother, and she was taking it out on me. The trajectory wasn’t good. After a few days of this degeneration, I decided to take the spoon back. I prepared for war I set aside sufficient time. A patient adult can defeat a two-year-old, hard as that is to believe. As the saying goes: “Old age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill.” This is partly because time lasts forever, when you’re two. Half an hour for me was a week for my son. I assured myself of victory. He was stubborn and horrible. But I could be worse. We sat down, face to face, bowl in front of him. It was High Noon. He knew it, and I knew it. He picked up the spoon. I took it from him, and spooned up a delicious mouthful of mush. I moved it deliberately towards his mouth. He eyed me in precisely the same manner as the playground foot monster. He curled his lips downward into a tight frown, rejecting all entry. I chased his mouth around with the spoon as he twisted his head around in tight circles. But I had more tricks up my sleeve. I poked him in the chest, with my free hand, in a manner calculated to annoy. He didn’t budge. I did it again. And again. And again. Not hard—but not in a manner to be ignored, either. Ten or so pokes letter, he opened his mouth, planning to emit a sound of outrage. Hah! His mistake. I deftly inserted the spoon. He tried, gamely, to force out the offending food with his tongue. But I know how to deal with that, too. I just placed my forefinger horizontally across his lips. Some came out. But some was swallowed, too. Score one for Dad. I gave him a pat on the head, and told him that he was a good boy. And I meant it. When someone does something you are trying to get them to do, reward them. No grudge after victory. An hour later, it was all over. There was outrage. There was some wailing. My wife had to leave the room. The stress was too much. But food was eaten by child. My son collapsed, exhausted, on my chest. We had a nap together. And he liked me a lot better when he woke up than he had before he was disciplined.”