3. 2009-2010 – 学习 「停止」 的声音

一. 人物 – 当迦勒 2-3 岁时。

二. 事件 – 在我们做父母的早期，我听到华特谈论聆听天父声音的重要性。服从，能够听从天父的声音，对于孩子在繁忙的街道上的生死可能至关重要。我把这句话牢记在心，当迦勒开始像野孩子一样四处走动时，我开始训练他绝对服从我的指令，当我喊停时。没有为什么的问题，只有服从。如果有情况需要我这样使用的话，就是没有时间解释了。迦勒必须服从，毫不犹豫，不问为何，他必须马上停下来。我开始在我们外出时训练他。例如，我们出去吃晚饭，把车停在车库里。当我们走向餐厅时，我会和他谈论，当我说停时他必须服从，当我说停下来时，不问任何问题。我会让他走在我前面，然后我会说停下来。起初，这可能有点有趣，像一场游戏。较困难的部分出现在我们去像快乐谷这样的地方时（一个有游乐设施的公园）。在这些情况下，我会给他两次机会。例如，他看到一个儿童过山车，跑向它，我会说停。他不停下来。我跑向他，抓住他，和他谈话并警告他。我告诉他，如果他不服从，我们会回家。稍后我再尝试其他游乐设施，他又一次没能遵守。我再次警告他。如果第三次他再次失败，我们就回家。他会感到沮丧，甚至在公园里大发脾气，当我拉着他，强迫他离开公园时，确实是很尴尬的。另一个例子是带迦勒去他最喜欢的餐厅（比如麦当劳带玩具的儿童餐），他非常兴奋，我们会在走向餐厅的停车场练习“停”。有时候，我们不得不回家，不在餐厅吃饭，因为迦勒无法服从。对于一些孩子，您可能需要做类似10次的训练才能学会，对于另一些孩子（例如我的儿子诺亚），也许只需 1 次。无论如何，一旦开始，您必须完成整个过程。在迦勒学会停下来后，生活变得轻松许多。我相信他可以四处走动。我们的规则是他必须看得见我，并且是能够听到我声音的距离（他需要几次试验和理解他可以走多远，以及在什么情况下他看不见我，这需要教育和训练而非纯粹的纪律）。这种纪律已经多次拯救他免于危险。例如，他在玩球，球滚到一个危险的地方，迦勒追着球跑，我看到了，看到有车，我说停，迦勒停下来让球走。或者，我们在车库走动，迦勒可以走在我前面。我看到一辆即将驶出停车位的车，我大喊停，迦勒停下来。

3.   2009-2010 – Learning the voice of STOP

a.   Who – when Caleb was 2-3 years old.

b.   What – Early in our parenting, I heard Walt talk about importance of listening to the Father’s voice. That obedience, ability to listen to the Father’s voice, can mean the life and death of a child on a busy street. I took that to heart and when Caleb started walking and running around like a wild child, I started training him in absolute obedience at my voice when I yell stop. There is no question of why, there is only obedience. If there is a situation that I needed to use this, there will be no time to explain. Caleb has to obey, without any hesitation, without question, he has to just do it. I started training him whenever we went out. For example, we would go out to dinner, and we parked in a garage. As we walk towards the restaurant, I would talk to him about obeying me when I say stop, no questions asked. I will let him walk in front of me, and then I will say stop. Initially, it can be kind of fun, like a game. The more difficult aspect came when we went to places like a Happy Hollow (park with rides). In those cases, I would give him 2 chances. For example, he sees a kid’s roller coaster ride and runs toward it, I will say stop. He does not stop. I run to him, grabs him, have a conversation with him and warns him. I told him that if he does not obey, then we are going to go home. I try again with some other ride a bit later, he fails again. I warn him again. If he fails on the third time, we go home. He will be upset, he may even throw a tantrum, complete meltdown at the park while I am grabbing him, prodding him out of the park, it is embarrassing to say the least. Another example would be taking Caleb to his favorite restaurant (say MacDonald’s Happy Meal with toy), he is so excited, we practice stop in the parking lot while walking to the restaurant. Sometimes, we have to go home and not eat at the restaurant because Caleb can’t obey. For some child, you may need to do something like 10 times before he learns, for some child (like my son Noah), maybe only 1 time. Regardless, you have to complete the process once you start. Life becomes much easier after Caleb learns stop. I trust him to roam around. Our rule is that he has to be able to see me and be at a distance that he hears me (it took a few iterations for him to experiment and understand how far he can go and in what situation he can’t see me, this requires education and training not necessary discipline). This discipline has saved him from harm many times. For example, he is playing ball, and the ball went somewhere a bit dangerous, Caleb chases after the ball, I saw that and saw some car, I say stop, Caleb stops and let the ball go. Or, we are walking in a garage, Caleb can go ahead of me. I see a car that is about to pull out of the parking spot, I yell stop, Caleb stops.