2025年6月6日——弥迦醒悟了

人物：弥迦·王，11岁

自2023年9月10日（弥迦叛逆事件）以来，弥迦一直在经历青春期前期的挣扎。这个过程已持续21个多月，现在我终于看到了曙光。我持续在以下几个方面与弥迦反复沟通、共同努力：让他对屏幕设备、游戏产生"免疫力"；教导他如何负责任；为棒球训练做好准备（不丢失水杯、不在出发前最后一刻才做重要事项）；准时参加活动；涂抹防晒霜等成为一个负责任的人所需的细节；犯错时承担责任。例如当他超时使用屏幕时，不再试图狡辩，而是承认错误、接受惩罚，将负面情绪转化为积极动力，继续前进并在下次做得更好。最近，他的态度、行为和情绪管理能力呈现出持续积极的趋势。在一次送他去棒球训练的车程中，我问他发生了什么变化。他告诉我："遵守规则其实更有趣；听话、做正确的事会让生活更美好。"听到这番话我十分欣慰。从某种意义上说，他的自我意志被打破了——弥迦意识到随心所欲只会带来更多痛苦。他现在明白并亲身体验到：放下执念、听从指导、脚踏实地做事才是更好的生活方式。以下是他在行为和态度上进步的具体事例：

l 准时参加棒球训练 - 目标是在下午4:50前准备好。过去弥迦总是4:45才开始准备，然后以找不到帽子、腰带等为借口。本质上是他总想做自己的事（比如看书）到最后一刻。现在他终于学会提前准备好装备，如有空闲时间再阅读。

l 遵守游戏时间约定 - 例如只有30分钟和朋友玩游戏。以前弥迦会操纵计时器找借口延长时间，或以"最后一局"为由超时，甚至玩完《我的世界》后还要用建模软件继续建造世界。现在他会在计时器响起时立即停止，不再找借口。有时还会主动告诉我："爸爸，我超时了10分钟"，承担责任并讨论改进方案。

l 规划未来能力 - 由于处于棒球赛季，训练和比赛频繁，他的运动服需要经常清洗。过去多次因衣服在洗或未干而没装备可用。现在他会提前几天规划洗衣时间确保服装就绪，或从待洗衣物中提前取出需要的衣服。

21. 6/6/2025 – Micah came to his senses

Who – Micah Wang, 11 years old

What – Since 9/10/2023 (Micah flipped story), Micah has been going through his pre-teen teen struggles. It has been a little over 21 months through this process. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. I continue to iterate, work with Micah in the following areas: Inoculating him from screens, devices, gaming. Coaching him how to be responsible. Getting ready for baseball practices, not losing water bottles, don’t do important tasks the last minute before we need to leave for baseball practice. Be on time. Wear sun screen, all the details needed to be a responsible person. Accepting responsibility when he makes a mistake. For example, when he goes over his agreed amount of screen time, not trying to talk his way out of it, but to accept responsibility, his mistake, admit that he is wrong, accept the consequence, channel those negative emotions into something positive, move on, and do better next time. Recently, there has been a consistent, positive trend in his attitude, actions, and ability to master his emotions. In one of the car rides to take him to baseball practice, I asked him what is happening. He told me that it is more fun if I (Micah) just follow the rules; that life is just better if I (Micah) just listen, do what is right. I was so grateful to hear this. In a way, his will is broken. Micah realizes that doing his life own way, doing what he wants, the way he wants, ends up in more suffering and pain. If he can let it go, if he can listen, obey, do what is right, do things the right way, no short cuts, he now realizes and experiences that this way is better. Here are some specific examples of his improvements in his actions and attitudes.

l Be on time to baseball practice - The goal is for Micah to be ready at 4:50 PM. In the past, Micah will start getting ready at 4:45 PM, but sometimes, he was not able to find his hat, or find his belt … etc., whatever excuses he comes up with. Basically, Micah would do what he wanted to do (like reading … etc.) until the last minute, then get ready. Now, he has finally learned, and listened to the advice to get ready earlier. Micah would get fully ready, much earlier, then if he has free time, he will then read a book.

l Stick to agreed limits on video games - For example, Micah may have 30 minutes to play with his friends. Before, Micah would manipulate the timer, stop the timer for some excuses to extend his time. OR, he would go over the timer because its “last game”. Or, even after his finishes playing Minecraft, he will find some other Minecraft builder, not the actual game, but some modeling software to build his Minecraft world. Now, he would start the timer, when the timer sounds, he would stop. No excuses, no if, ands, and buts. In addition, there are times where he would come to me and say, “Daddy, I went over 10 minutes”. He would claim responsibility, not blame anything else, and we would discuss how it happened and what we can do better.

l Ability to plan for the future - Because Micah is in post season for baseball, there are lots of practices and games. His baseball clothes get dirty frequently. It is his responsibility to wash his clothes and be ready. In the past, more than a few times, he was without baseball clothes because it was still in the wash, or perhaps not dried yet. Now, Micah plans out his clothe washing schedule a few days before to make sure he has clothes ready for baseball. OR, he will take out his clothes out of the dirty pile to make sure it does not get accidentally washed when he knows he needs clothing.