15. **2017 – 魔方**

**对象** – Caleb 加勒当时大约 10 岁，四年级学生。

**内容** – 多年来，Caleb 曾对许多不同的事物产生过短暂而浓厚的兴趣。例如，他在二年级和三年级时热衷于收集宝可梦(皮卡丘)卡片，同时也非常喜欢软弹枪。只要这些兴趣不涉及屏幕／電腦手機（Noah 是个例，自他 7 岁起我们就允许他长时间使用电脑，但那是另一回事），我们都会尽力支持而不是限制他。我们也鼓励他学习和掌握实际技能；比如，如果他喜欢宝可梦卡片，我们便鼓励他真正了解游戏规则，并检验自己在这方面的实际水平。

到了四年级时，他的一位同学带来了一个魔方，这让他一见钟情。接下来的大约六个月里，Caleb 对魔方投入了极大热情。起初，他从一个简单、便宜的魔方开始练习，后来他希望购买一个专业级别但价格昂贵得多的魔方。我们对他说：“如果你能稳定地解出魔方，我们就会为你换一个更好的。”果然，他做到了，我们便兑现了承诺。随后，Caleb 请求获得额外的屏幕时间来观看 YouTube 视频，以便学习和记忆各种解法算法。我们同意了，但规定他必须在我们在场的情况下观看。家中有一个家庭办公室，足够我们全家五人共同使用办公桌。就在上高中的前几年，我们从不允许孩子们在自己的房间里放置电脑或笔记本，而只能在这个开放的家庭办公室中使用设备。

那段时间，Caleb 十分专注于钻研各种算法。我记得他连续几个星期每天利用近 2 小时通过 YouTube 视频学习、反复练习。后来，他告诉我们，有的人能在 10 秒钟内解出魔方，而他则立志在 20 秒内完成。为了达成这一目标，他要求我们购买一个专用的魔方计时器，并请求额外的屏幕时间去查询哪款计时器更适合。我们同意后，他便查找资料并通过 Amazon 链接向我们推荐了合适的计时器。接着，他不断练习、记忆算法，每天至少花费一小时以上专注于魔方训练。最终，他创造了 13 秒内解出魔方的最快记录。等到他能稳定在 20 秒以内解出魔方、但始终无法突破 10 秒大关时，他的热情也逐渐减退。那六个月后，Caleb 几乎不再碰魔方，不过每当遇到其他同学玩魔方时，他仍总能以惊人的速度让对方叹为观止。

**经验教训** – 用智慧去支持和鼓励孩子的追求，而不是对其进行限制。孩子们的兴趣可能只持续几周或几个月，甚至会突然结束。曾几次，我觉得自己只是花大钱买了一堆看似无用的玩具填满家里；从某种角度说，这确实是在浪费金钱。但换个角度看，这些爱好为孩子们提供了磨练技能、探索好奇心、学习工作态度和自我挑战的契机。起初我也觉得这些兴趣或许显得无用、幼稚、微不足道，但一旦深入了解和研究之后，我才发现，从孩子的角度来看，这些事情意义重大，对他们来说非常重要。因此，出于对孩子的爱，我愿意参与其中，努力学习，并借助这些看似“幼稚”的游戏、玩具以及他们当下感兴趣的事物，培养诸如工作态度、学习乐趣、成就感和实现目标等长期价值。当然，这一切都是自愿的，从不强迫，让孩子自由探索、主动引导、畅所欲问。正是这种方式使他们发现自身的长处、天赋及真正的热情。最终，这些“幼稚”的追求以极小的经济成本，为他们的情感银行存入了巨额“存款”。价值在于接受者眼中的意义，而非赠送者的衡量。对于一位有志成为魔方高手的孩子来说，一只价值 25 美元的魔方所传递的意义，比一台 1500 美元、用以强迫孩子学习编程的笔记本电脑更为深远。

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这段文字既记录了 Caleb 那段热衷魔方时期的点滴，也传达了支持孩子探索兴趣的重要意义。你是否也有类似的经历，见过孩子们对某个短暂兴趣全情投入，最终收获了宝贵的人生经验呢？

16.   2017 – Rubik’s cube

a.      Who – Caleb was about 10 years old, 4th grade.

b.      What – Over the years, Caleb had many different interests for short periods of time. For example, he was into Pokémon cards when he was younger, say 2nd, and 3rd grade. He also loved nerf guns. We do our best (within cost limits) to support his interests as much as possible, not limit them, as long as it does not involve screens (Noah was the exception, we let Noah spend many hours on computers since he was 7 years old, but that is a different story covered elsewhere). Further, we try to encourage him to learn and practice actual skills. For example, if he loves Pokémon cards, we encourage him to actually learn the game and see how good he is actually at the game. In 4th grade, one of his friends at school had Rubik’s cube, he loved it, so for about 6 months, Caleb was really into Rubik’s cube. First, he started with a simple, cheap Rubik’s cube. He then wanted to buy a professional cube, which was a lot more expensive. We told Caleb that if he can consistently solve the Rubik’s cube, then we will buy him a better cube. He was able to do that so we bought him a better cube. Caleb then requested that he needs extra screen time / youtube, to learn and memorize all the algorithms. We decided that was ok as long as he watched these videos while we are around. We have a family office in our home where there are enough desk spaces for all of us (5 people total) to work in the office. Before High School, we don’t allow computers or laptops to be in kids’ rooms. They can only use them in the open, public, family office room. During this time, Caleb was quite dedicated in learning these algorithms. I remember he would watch youtube, learn the algorithms, practice, up to 2 hours per day, for a few weeks. Caleb then told us that there are people that can solve the cube in less than 10 seconds. He told us that he wanted to do it in less than 20 seconds. He said that in order to do that, he needs us to purchase a special Rubik’s cube timer. He asked for extra screen time to research on which to buy. We said ok, so he researched and send us an Amazon link to buy the timer. He then proceeded to practice, memorize algorithms, practice some more. He would spend at least 1 hour or more a day on Rubik’s cube during this period. Eventually, the fastest recorded time Caleb ever solved a Rubik’s cube was 13 seconds. After Caleb was able to consistently solve Rubik’s cube in less than 20 seconds but not able to go under 10 seconds. His interest began to wane. After that 6 months period, Caleb barely picks up Rubik’s cube anymore. He would however, impress any child who happens to have a Rubik’s cube, with how fast he can solve it anywhere he does now.

c.      Lesson learned – Support, encourage, don’t limit, your children’s pursuits with wisdom. These pursuits may last two weeks or months, and they end suddenly. More than once I thought I am just wasting a lot of money filling up the house with useless equipment. In one sense, yes you are, however, from another perspective, these pursuits provide vehicles for your child to hone their skills, to explore their curiosities, to learn work ethic, to challenge themselves. Often, I thought their interests are unproductive initially, silly, inconsequential, and yes, in one perspective, they are. However, once I dig in, learn, study, then I realize that from the child’s perspective, it is a big deal. It means a lot to them. Therefore, out of love for them, I get involved, I learn, and try to leverage these “silly” games, toys, whatever our child is interested, at that moment in time, to build long term values like work ethic, joy of learning, joy of accomplishing something, hitting a goal. Again, never forced, letting the child to explore, lead, ask. This is how the child explore and find out what they are good at, their talents, and their passion. Finally, these “silly” pursuits are opportunities to make huge deposits into their emotional bank account for very little financial cost. Value is in the eye of the beholder, the one receiving the gift, not the giver. A $25 Rubik’s cube as a gift to an aspiring cuber means so much more than a $1500 laptop to force a child to code.