12. 2024 年 5 月 16 日 – 弥迦 的棒球抑郁、消极情绪，因为 YouTube、社交媒体
l 人物 – 弥迦，10 岁
l 事件 – 弥迦在八、九岁的时候开始打棒球，他非常喜欢这项运动。在一次棒球训练后的晚餐时间，我们注意到弥迦沉默不语，与平常快乐的样子有些不同，于是我们开始询问他发生了什么事。他没有说什么，但开始哭泣和流泪。我们试图引导他，问他为什么，深入挖掘，但他不愿意谈论这件事，晚餐期间一直闷闷不乐。因此，我们让他独自待着。整个晚餐期间，我一直在心里祈祷，因为我不知道弥迦到底发生了什么事。晚餐快结束时，我问弥迦是否准备好谈谈或分享发生了什么，他说是的。弥迦告诉我们（雪莉和我），他觉得自己会在接下来的季后赛中投得很糟糕（周六有一场季后赛）。他失去了投球的感觉。他觉得自己无法在棒球上进步，认为自己是一个糟糕的棒球运动员。我们能从他的眼中看到悲伤和绝望。我能感觉到这不是日常的情绪，而是他已经持续了几天的感受。果然，与弥迦交谈后，我们发现他已经有这种感觉好几天了。我问他是否在学校也有这种感觉，他说是的，但他说他一直在压抑自己的情绪，控制自己不在学校哭泣。他只有在家里才感到舒适，可以表达和哭泣，我们告诉他这样是可以的。弥迦非常悲伤，处于一种相当抑郁的状态。我们感到无助。在我看来，弥迦在棒球方面一直表现得很好。事实上，他表现得足够好，被选入了全明星赛季后联赛，这是一个很大的成就。因此，我不知道这种悲伤和绝望从何而来。我们问他学校里是否发生了什么事？训练中有没有发生什么事？没有什么特别的事情引起我们的注意。我感到束手无策。在这整个过程中，我一直在内心祈祷，请求圣灵帮助，照亮这个问题。然后，一个想法闪过我的脑海。大约两周前，弥迦问我是否可以看YouTube上的棒球视频来提高他的投球和击球技巧。弥迦在视频时间管理方面一直做得很好，所以我同意了。就在几天前，弥迦还给我看了一场12岁的全国冠军赛，比赛中的投手投出了时速60到70英里的快速球，还有一个6英尺高的12岁孩子打出了全垒打赢得比赛。想到这里，我相信圣灵帮助我将这与弥迦目前的情况联系起来。我问弥迦对这些冠军级别的球员有什么看法，弥迦表示他觉得自己永远无法像这些球员一样投得那么快，他不知道如何进步，也不知道如何在今年达到6英尺的身高。我告诉他，我认为看YouTube正在严重影响他的情绪、态度和观点，在可预见的未来，他不能再在YouTube上看棒球视频了。他没有抗议、争辩或争吵，而是欣然同意。我认为在我们的谈话之前，弥迦并没有意识到他的情绪与YouTube之间的联系。令人惊讶的是，一旦他意识到这种联系，他的情绪开始好转。由于当时已经过了晚上8:30，我们没有进一步深入谈话。我需要在之后跟进更多的对话，讨论与他人比较以及其他相关话题。这里的教训是，根据你的孩子的情况，即便是YouTube上的健康视频，哪怕再少量，也可能对孩子的情绪造成相当大的伤害。我可以想象（哪怕只是一点点），一个接触社交媒体的女孩，感受到无法达到标准的抑郁和绝望，甚至没有意识到她的情绪与社交媒体之间的联系，然后与父母、成年人或朋友之间没有沟通渠道来帮助她处理这些情绪或阻止她伤害自己，甚至无法表达她的感受。我对此感到非常震惊，并为这一代孩子感到心痛。
12. 5/16/2024 – Micah’s baseball depression, negativity, because of YouTube, Social Media
a. Who – Micah Wang, 10 years old
b. What – Micah started playing baseball when he was 8 or 9 years old. He loves it. After one of Micah’s baseball practices, while having dinner, we noticed that Micah was silent, a bit off than his usual, happy self, so we started asking him what is wrong. He didn’t say anything but started crying and tearing up. We tried to prod him, ask him why, dig, but he didn’t want to talk about it and sulked during dinner. Therefore, we left him alone. I kept praying in my heart throughout dinner since I have no idea what is going on with Micah. Towards the end of the dinner, I asked Micah if he was ready to talk / wanted to share what is happening, he said yes. Micah told us (Shirley and I), that he is going to pitch horribly (there is a playoff game coming Saturday). That he lost his pitching form. He felt like there is no way he can get better at baseball, that he is a horrible baseball player. We can see the sadness and despair in his eyes. I can tell that this is no ordinary day to day emotions but this has been something that he is feeling for a few days perhaps. Sure enough, after talking to Micah, he has been feeling this way for a few days. I asked him if he feels this way at school, he said yes, but he says he keeps it all in, mastering his emotions, so that he does not cry at school. He only feels comfortable expressing, crying at home, which we said that was fine. Micah was really sad, in a quite depressive state. We were at a loss. Micah has been doing great (in my perspective) at baseball. In fact, he was good enough to be selected into the All Stars post season league, which is a great accomplishment. Therefore, I had no idea where this sadness, despair come from. We asked him if there is anything going on at school? Did something happen at practice? Nothing jumps out at us. I was at my wits end. Throughout all this, I was praying internally, asking Holy Spirit to help, to shed light on this. Then, a thought flashed in my mind. About two weeks ago, Micah has asked me whether he can watch baseball on youtube to improve his pitching and hitting form. Micah has been doing well when it comes to screen time, so I let him. Just a few days ago, Micah was showing me a 12 years old nationwide championship game where pitchers were pitching 60-70 miles per hour fast balls and a 6 footer 12 years old hit a home run to win the game. With this in mind, I believe the Holy Spirit helped me connect this to Micah’s present situation. I asked Micah what he thought about these championship type players, Micah expressed that he feels like he will never be able to pitch as fast as these players, he does not know how to get better, and how there is no way he can reach 6 feet this year. I told him that I think watching youtube is really impacting his emotions, attitude, and perspective, and that he can no longer watch baseball on youtube in the foreseeable future. He did not protest, put up a fight, or argue, and he readily agreed. I don’t think Micah made this link between his emotions and youtube until our conversation. Amazingly, once he realized the link, his mood began to brighten. We did not press for more conversation since it was already pass 8:30 PM at the time. I will need to follow up with more conversations later just to talk through comparing yourself to others and many other topics. The lesson here is, depending on your child, how small amount of even “healthy” content exposure on youtube can do quite a damage emotionally to your child. I can imagine (just a bit), how a girl who is exposed social media, who feels the depression, despair of not measuring up, who is not even aware the link between her emotions and social media, and then no communication channel with her parents, or an adult, or friends, to help her process or stop her from hurting herself, who can’t even articulate what she is feeling. I am completely mortified and my heart aches for this generation of children.