10. 2010 – 是时候离开了

l 人物 – 当迦勒 3-4 岁时。

l 事件 – 我们早期遇到的一个问题是如何让孩子们不闹情绪地离开派对、游乐场或他们正在专注做的任何事情。这是一个基本而关键的问题。在经历了许多尴尬的失败后，我们学到了一些有用的方法。首先，我们会提前告知他们我们要离开了。其次，我们会使用闹钟。这样，离开的时间是客观的，而不是随意的。例如，我们会告诉迦勒：「迦勒，我们还有10分钟就要离开了。」我们会给他看闹钟，并期望他在10分钟后准备好放下手头的事情离开。我们期望他立即服从。假设10分钟到了，我们说：「迦勒，我们走吧。」如果迦勒正在玩沙子，他应该站起来，向朋友们告别，然后开始走出沙坑。如果他没有这样做，我们会使用「魔法123」法，开始数1、2、3，如果数到3他还没有行动，那么就会开始进行管教。最好在不太尴尬的环境中开始这种训练。比如周末在公园里玩耍，只有我和迦勒，没有朋友或其他活动，这是一个好的开始。这样，迦勒只会让我尴尬。另一个容易在家训练的示例是看电视时间的计时器。当他们还小的时候，我们可能会说：「你还有5分钟的看电视时间。」当5分钟到了，不管他们是否在游戏或视频的中间，他们都要停下来，这就是训练。一旦他们学会了停止，当他们长大后，我们会尝试在限制范围内给予他们一些宽容，让他们完成游戏或视频。当孩子们掌握了这种纪律后，带他们参加任何活动都会变得容易得多。通常，在活动中，我和孩子们已经离开活动，走向汽车，而雪莉还在聊天和告别。不，对雪莉是没有「魔法123」。

10.   2010 – Time to leave

a.    Who – when Caleb was 3-4 years old.

b.    What – One problem we struggled early was how to get our kids to leave a party, or playground, or whatever they are so focused doing without a fuss. This is a basic, essential issue. Here is what we learned that was helpful after many embarrassing failures. First, we give early warning that we are leaving. Second, we use an alarm. That way, it is objective and not arbitrary. For example, we will say to Caleb, Caleb, you have 10 more minutes before we leave. We will show him the alarm and the expectation is that in 10 minutes, he will be ready to drop whatever he is doing and leave. We expect immediate obedience. Let’s say 10 minutes is up, and we say, Caleb, let’s go. If Caleb is playing with sand, he should get up, say goodbye to his friends, and start walking out of the sandbox. If he does not, we do magic 123, we will start counting 1, 2, 3, if it goes beyond 3, then discipline starts. It is best to begin training for this in less embarrassing environment. A weekend play at the park, just Caleb and I, without friends or any other events is a good start. That way, Caleb is only embarrassing me. Another example that is easy to train at home will be a timer for screen time. When they are younger, we may say, you have 5 more minutes of screen time. When 5 minutes is up, that’s it, it does not matter when they are in a middle of game, video … etc, they stop, this is the training. Once they have learned to stop, and when they are older, we try to show grace by letting them finish the game or video, within limits. After kids gain this discipline, it is so much easier to take them to any events. Usually, in an event, kids and I have already left the event, walking towards the car while Shirley is still talking and saying her goodbyes. No, there is no magic 123 for Shirley.